I always dreamed of doing something great for which the world would remember me. I never really knew exactly what it was, but I knew I wanted that for my life. I didn’t have the conviction of a Malcolm X or a Kunta Kinte to stand up and die for my beliefs. I wanted to be a living example of what one could do if they only would put their mind and effort to it.
As time passed, and nothing extraordinarily great happened, I began to doubt myself, my talents, and my ability to realize my dreams. There were many low points when giving in seemed to be the best option. Others, who conformed to the norm, appeared to be getting ahead while I felt like I was just spinning my wheels. I found myself longing to just be regular. Wanting to be able to take whatever life throws my way at face value without questioning it. Wishing I could just go with the flow and make due with what was rationed to me. Internally begging for God to erase my ambition and allow me to be a follower instead of a leader.
It was then I knew, I had to have been put here to do something more than just be regular. My ambition was one of the greatest gifts that my Creator had given me. For me to want to give in, this must have merely been a strengthening phase and a test of my perseverance. All of the trials, tribulations, disappointments, deceptions, setbacks, haters, hurdles and hindrances were divinely and strategically placed in my life to expose me to the worst in preparation for the best. It was then I knew, giving in was not an option. It was enemy’s attempt to supersede God’s plan for me and the people I was put here to help.
I still may not know what great accomplishments I am destined to achieve but, when they reveal themselves, I will be ready. I thought I had two options: give in or give it my all. The epiphany was recognizing that the only option has always been the latter.
--Linwood R. Butler, Jr.
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What and when was your Epiphany?
ReplyDeletePlease share your thoughts with the world.
Nearing the completion of basic training for the United States Army requires that you complete a 15 mile road march with a 45 pound rug sack on your back along with holding a 15 pound M-16 rifle. Now as you can imagine this is not your average stroll in the park, this march takes place after a full day of manuvers in which your body has been driven to the brink of complete exhaustion and it is at this point you're expected to march 15 miles carrying 60 pounds of gear. Needless to say this is a daunting task but it has to be done before you can finish basic training and proudly consider yourself a soldier of the United States Armed Forces. Well to set the scene of my epiphany I must first tell you that it had to be the hottest day in the history of Fort Dix, NJ. Though the human body is made up of 85% water in that unbearable unrelenting swelter, you felt as though you were down to 10% water. It was so hot that the march was mercifully changed to take place at night. That is the only mercy that would bestowed upon me that day. The fact that the march was changed to night has significance in the fact that half way into the march the drill sargeants became lost and the 15 mile march ended up actually being 18 miles. Approximately 2 miles into this march the soldier behind me stepped on my bootlace. Down I go on this gravel road and at this point I have created a lagre gash in my knee but I am so exhausted I have no idea how bad I am injured all I can think to myself is if I do not get up I will be yelled at huliliated and then sent home a failure to my friends and family. So I tie that bootstrap and push on. as the miles go by, I can hear soldiers dropping out around me. Not many dropped but enough to start recurring thoughts in my head. What am I doing here? Why did I sign up for this? Why is everything going wrong on my march? As I struggled to make sense of things, I realized that I was asking useless questions. The only thing that mattered at that moment was taking my next step. I was hungry but my next step brought me closer to food. I was tired but my next step took me closer to rest. I was cold (oh I forgot to mention we had to cross a river with neck high water so we were marching in wet heavy clothes that were freezing in the night air), as I was saying, I was cold yet my next step brought me closer to warmth. There was a point in which I started to hallucinate and see things in the road everything from spots to a woman in a wedding dress. Not sure what time it was that morning but as the first glimmer of the rising sun started over the trees, I realized that I was just a few yards away from the barracks. Warth, food, and rest was now in sight and victory was at hand. It was at that moment that my epiphany came to me that no matter what goal I set for myself, concentration on the next step key. Focus on the task before you whether it is the next exam you have to take toward your degree, the next project that needs to be completed given to you by you boss, or as simple as cutting the grass so you can get to the gutters or as complicated and making it another day without a drink on your way to sobriety. The key is to stay focussed on your next step, complete it and move on to the next before you know it the journey will be complete with a complete sense of pride and victory to top it off.
ReplyDeleteWhew! I felt like I was there. You're right, focus is the key to success. Once we chnge our thinking, we are well on our way to getting where we are attempting to go or trying to accomplish.
ReplyDeleteOne night, in the spring of 1996 at Bowie State, I purposefully missed my ROTC College ceremonial at Howard U., in light of to work at my part-time job, 711. If I only knew that I was being honored that night as my company’s Buffalo Solider Award receipt I probably would have gone. That night, I really would have attended if knew the prestigious award came with $500 hundred dollar gift.
ReplyDeleteThe next morning, after returning from working my graveyard shift, I had 1 message on my answering machine. Yes, voicemail was not prominent then. Behold, it was my drill instructor, Sergeant Goode. He had no problem lacing his voice on my tape for a record five and a half minutes. His communication highlighted disappointment, no soul, gutless, and most notably my lack of ambition. He called me out. I begin thinking I was yellow for not honoring a commitment, thus taking the easy road—not showing up at all. I thought---did I have an alibi? Sure, but I had influence. Influence meaning, the ability to manipulate my work schedule to get the time off.
I eventually, got my prize money after taking a verbal beat down by my brass superiors, but the damage or should I say revolution was done and begun.
My epiphany focused on how to focus my ambition concerning how I would live life after the utter and sheer embarrassment I encountered for not being accountable. How I would define my existence by my application to the world along with matters I was involved in.
They say your word is your bond, and “to say what you mean and do what you say”. My ambition if measured from that experience forward, well, has proved to be valuable 1000 times over.
I have tried the same approach my drill instructor used on several of my friends. Unfortunately, it did not work. Perhaps you cannot teach ambition, it has to be learned and applied.